Thursday, September 20, 2012

People Pleaser? Does it come from Love or Fear?


               How many people have been called a “people pleaser?”  Is this a bad trait or a good trait?  One thing I know for sure, is that it’s an intriguing question.  The problem is that in today’s society, “people pleasing” is a negative personality trait.

               I have been a “people pleaser” for many years, though I realize now that I only acted that way out of Fear.  I was desperate to have others like me.  I needed other people’s approval in order to feel good about myself, and in that need is where the negative aspect of “people pleasing” revealed itself.

               As I continue to focus on my future and what makes me happy, I often consider my reaction to others.  In my past I never wanted to cause waves, I wanted to be invisible, I wanted to avoid conflict.  These are all things that held me back.  I was worried about being “seen” as something other than happy.  I felt that no one would want to be around me if I didn’t appear positive and happy.

               It is true that no one wants to be around a selfish person who is constantly negative, but trying to be SOMEONE because you are afraid of how others will react won’t bring you happiness.  That kind of behavior can often morph into cynicism and unhappiness because you feel others don’t treat you the same as you treat them.

               Today I realize that I still have a little bit of “people pleaser” as part of my personality.  Today I like to see it as kindness, happiness, compassion, and helpfulness.  The difference today is that I don’t need to “act” or “do” nice things in order to avoid conflict or make people like me.  I finally like myself, and I believe and live one of my favorite motto’s.   “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You”..….unknown author

               If we all treat others as we wish to be treated the Universe would be a totally different place. Let’s remember ourselves and others with every step we take.

To The Universe

Love Brandy

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