I REALLY WANT A COOKIE!!!

                Good Morning Universe I bet I got your attention with my title today.  Honestly who doesn’t want a cookie (or 10) now and then.  Before now I would have DEFINITELY just ate all the cookies.  Self-Control hasn’t always been one of my strong points, but that is changing these days.

                I have spoken before about my addiction to negative behaviors like smoking, drugs, and even self-harm.  Another addiction I have struggled with, and still struggle with is an addiction to food.  I partook in these negative behaviors to escape.  I was usually bored or depressed and made excuses as to why these negative behaviors were OK.  Not Anymore, I don’t want to make excuses I am making changes.

                It is very difficult to change behaviors that have been part of your life and your personality for years, but it’s DEFINITELY POSSIBLE.  The best part about changing your negative behaviors and habits is the pride you get upon success.  The hardest part is getting back on track if you fail.  Failure is common when making significant changes, but I BELIEVE the only TRUE FAILURE is never trying again.  The things people value most are things we have WORKED FOR.

                That being said, I REALLY WANT COOKIES.  I am aware that the OLD SELF wouldn’t be able to just have one serving of cookies, I would be in danger of eating half the box.  My NEW SELF has been doing really good this week.  I bought a small box of cookies 5 days ago, and still have more than half the package left today (and it’s actually a really small package) YEAH!!!  I am starting to gain some self-control, and with that comes PRIDE.

                I have goals this year and like most people weight loss is one of them.  I have had success with weight loss, but not recently.  Two years ago I weighed 316lbs, as of today I have gotten down to 242lbs.  (Wow it’s REALLY DIFFICULT to tell people my actual weight)  The majority of my weight loss was accomplished in 2011, I just didn’t gain it back. 

Last year I still had the goal to be healthier, I just got lazy.  This year it’s not about maintaining my weight loss, but getting it moving again, and I am happy to report THIS YEAR is going GREAT.  This week I have lost over 3lbs, and I am SO HAPPY.

 Now my job in the coming months is to remember this POSITIVE feeling in order to keep me motivated.  It is my job to keep working even when I hit the DREADED PLATEAU, which I acknowledge will come.  I must take my thoughts captive, thoughts like “this is too hard” or “well I worked so hard and don’t’ see changes.”  I must remember how good it feels to succeed, even when my inner quitter is SCREAMING at me. 

                One step I have taken is to tell others my goals, that way I will be accountable.  Another way is to share my struggles and successes with a support system.  The only person I have shared my goals with for this year is my Father, but now I have shared them with ALL of YOU and it SCARES ME but it also inspires me.  Let’s all work to overcome our FEARS this year and look for the POSITIVE.

To The Universe
LOVE BRANDY