WORTH Working For

Today’s the day, it’s time to go back to my new life.  As of this moment I can say that I am ready, I am stronger, and I think I may actually be kinda looking forward to getting back to Vegas.  Wow that’s a HUGE statement, because earlier this week I was desperate not to have to leave Sacramento, and now that desperation has faded.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to remain here in Sac with my mother and best friend where things are safe and familiar, but that isn’t going to happen.

I made a commitment to my family that I would try to build a life in Vegas, one that is independent of my past mistakes and influences.  If you would have told me earlier this week that I would experience anything other than fear, sadness, and apprehension about leaving Sacramento, I would have called you CRAZY.

I guess CRAZY is just what I am.  Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely sad to be leaving and filled with anxiety about how my path will unfold in a place that is still Very New to me.  Thankfully I have been filled with a newfound strength.  I am beginning to envision ideas and actions that will make my integration into what is to become my second home much more fun.

One thing that has made my return to Vegas easier is my resolution to REALLY build a social circle in my new home.  I have recently mentioned that I have been sad, lonely, anxious, and unhappy.  (though it’s only recently that I’ve stopped pretending everything was OK, and began to admit to others how I feel)  Those feelings are still present, but they have been joined by Hope, Belief, Acceptance, and Love.

Hope in what makes it possible for me to Believe that I can change how I perceive and create my life.  I have accepted that my path is influenced by others, just as much as by myself.  I accept that my family doesn’t want me to give up on creating a new life, though may seem too difficult to bear.  I Accept that I can’t create my life alone.  I need support from my family and friends and guidance from The Universe.

Finally I must have Love.  I must constantly work on loving myself in order to love others.  I must constantly work to evaluate the inner workings of my mind to ensure I am operating from a place of Love, not Fear.  I admit Love has been hard for me in the past, but I am beginning to feel that anything Worth having is Worth working for. 

To The Universe

Love Brandy