July 6th 2012
Hello
universe, are you listening? Cause if
you are it feels like your stepping on me, like an unwanted bug. I have a feeling that negativity will come
back to haunt me, at least if all this stuff about what we put out, we get
back, is true. But coming from someone
new to this, its hard to understand the pain.
Logically I know that pain and negativity won’t bring me happiness, but
that doesn’t mean its easy to change my brain and how it operates. I have 36years of the old way of thinking,
and trust me its easy that way.
Why does
everybody, including me, think “It’s just not fair.” Who ever told me life would be fair, no one
specifically. I think I’ve been
brainwashed my movies, books, and tv to think that happy endings are something
we can expect. No one watches sad
endings all the time, sometimes we like a “good cry”, but only if it’s VERY
temporary. Why is it that in times of
destitude and sadness its SO hard to see anything good. My logic tells me there is always someone
worse off then me somewhere, but my heart never seems to agree.
Right now I’m
trying to let the negative go, and its working a little. But if you’ve been reading its obvious I’m
still holding onto something. My brain
says “stop thinking about it if you want it to go away”, the rest of me says
“whatever, you know its not that easy.”
What if I really believed it was “That Easy” to let it go, I bet you the
bad feelings would be much farther from me now.
As long as I’m
searching for ways to heal the past by making my future I believe things will
be better. Even if I have to remind
myself 50 times a day, it will be true. I can’t have what I want for my future,
if I am always living in my past.
To The Universe
Love Brandy
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